My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
