was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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