He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This house was built for laser tag.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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