I wish I could punch you in the face.
I got chris browned last night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize