i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
