:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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