end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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