she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
