I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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