i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
