Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
