They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize