I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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