I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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