can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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