I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
