You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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