I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize