R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
