By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
