areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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