They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
