grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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