I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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