we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize