Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
