i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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