No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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