I need help removing her.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
