Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
