It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
