Kiss
Puke
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
