no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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