I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
