Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
