Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
