I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
