I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
