saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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