sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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