I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
