i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
