too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Girls should come with a carfax report
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
