cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
