And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
