At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
