Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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