Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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