Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
