walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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