Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
