If i come over, it means nothing
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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