Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
