So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
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