i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
