I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
