Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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