I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize