Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
