I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
