ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
