Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Quick, to the slutcave!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
