We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
