We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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